An alleged bird smuggler had his feathers ruffled when airport customs officers seized two live pigeons stuffed into his tights.

They allegedly found in the man’s pocket a multi-vitamin container holding two birds eggs, and a further search revealed he was wearing tights with the two live birds stuffed inside, one in each leg. [full article]

I don’t even need to make a witty or comment or anything on this article. I mean, I’m sure the underground world of bird smuggling is something very serious grim and seedy, but… ha… get it? Seedy. Puns are awesome.

Totally awesome news… Coming soon: 3D porn.

Some strange news from Germany… German Woman Missing 12 Years Found Alive in Swiss Woods and then German crash-lands car on church roof.

Praise science… Alcohol stops men being a flop in bed.

Rock on science… Methane pockets may narrow search for Mars life.

Damn science… Our world may be a giant hologram.

And party because I hate you… From Warren Ellis’ site is the I Did Not Need To See That Imagethread (Jan 09). And you really don’t need to. You’ll be saying “Fuck you internet” like I tend to do way too often.

So I’ve been tremendously enjoying my holidays and have been spending it doing pretty much nothing. Well, nothing worth blogging about. Actually, that was another thing, I had taken an unannounced break from this website as well. But I’m back now. Still on holiday for another week, but I kinda miss the blogging. Plus I’ve bookedmarked way too many things to post to leave it aside anymore.

My friend Fin’s blog Dark in the Boy seems to be discontinued now. After only a few weeks of blogging and posting stuff, the bastard had already gathered more hits than this entire site has, the bastard. But I look forward to whatever new ventures he takes in the new year. No doubt it’ll be something shiny and impressive.

The Nokia Gunphone, it’s only a photoshopped concept photo, but screw it, I want one anyway.

Terry Pratchett is now Sir Terry of Pratchett.

Lots from New Scientist, but my favourites (which are mostly compilations to other favourites are seven mysteries of Earth, seven new wonders of the world, their top 10 articles for 2008 and one that muses on the cosmos’ existence before the big bang which features a couple of my favourite theories. All this theorising almost makes you want that Large Hadron Colider to get colliding, but I’m still okay with this universe existing for now… until our robots rise up and take over. Then I say fire away.

Teenaged pranksters in the United States have found a unique, and expensive, way of exacting revenge on teachers and fellow students.

The mischievous and tech-savvy students in Maryland have been replicating original licence plates by printing fakes on glossy paper in a font similar to that used on the real plates, according to Maryland’s The Sentinel newspaper. [Full story]

Some douchebag father couldn’t get a cake made for his son at because he retardedly named him Adolf Hitler Campbell. Of course, he’ll probably run into the same problem in the future cause his other unfortunate and future psycho case spawns are named JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell. Good work America. You’ve got three more future serial killers in the making. Full story here.

Also, online comic site favourite Cyanide and Happiness posted a great Christmas tale that rivals any Nativity story or fairy tale about reindeers today and makes me jealous I never came up with something so great like that myself. Check it out here in all its greatness.

I’m now on several weeks holiday cause apparently I don’t take any holidays and I’m well overdue to be on a break and relax. Really nice timing for it to be over the Christmas/New Years period, but because this wasn’t so much of a planned holiday, I’ve not got much going on at the moment apart from looking for another job and looking forward to the Mountain Goats tomorrow. That’s about where my priorities are at the moment. Or what I can think of off the top of my head.

Anyway, I’ve got to get back into a mind frame of updating this more often, the amount of stuff I’ve now got to post in one go is getting really bad.

A strange phenomenon that occurred in the middle of the ocean that’s baffled scientists called the bloop.

A great comic about Warren Ellis being King of the Internet, and I’d agree. He also recounts a great conversation he had with his daughter the other day which I thought was great.

Though in reality it is undoubtedly a horrible experience and one I wouldn’t wish on anyone, you’ve just got to appreciate the irony of this article’s title: US anti-kidnap expert kidnapped.

A video of the sounds and voices from the video game Left 4 Dead spliced together to hilarious results.

A Japanese commercial that stars Brad Pitt, directed by Wes Anderson and makes absolutely no sense.

And finally, scientists have gotten spinning drops of water to behave like black holes which you can read here or watch this video instead.

Only one more sleep till The Mountain Goats. I’m freakin stoked.

Dear god my head is hurting like a motherfucker. Drank quite a bit last night.

This week a DVD for this year’s 48 Hour competition arrived in the mail. It’s pretty funky and they’ve gone the extra mile of including a 3rd disc with the best of the rest shorts. They’ve done this in previous years, but didn’t last year due to time constraints or something. Either way, it’s cool and I look forward to checking them all out sometime when I’m free, cause there is a lot of films on there. At least 100 I think.

Anyway, this hangover is quite awful. So here’s evidence of a massive black hole at the center of our galaxy here. And an article for those wHo want to test some sex toys here.

Seriously, hangovers suck.

Can’t post anything properly today. Drank too much last night.

A two faced kitten was born in Australia and I immediately thought of Transmetropolitan. Should really send the link to Warren Ellis, reckon he’d dig it.

There’s a listing of 40 Exquisite Independent Film Posters and its a pretty good selection. Definitely a couple that I’d have on my list. There’s also an ever changing list of 100 Greatest Movie Posters which is also pretty neat-o.

A great New Scientist write up of why the universe most likely is teaming with extra-terrestrial life here.

While I’ve been busy, the internet seems to have been quiet. Well, except for Whinnie-the-Pooh still kicking arse and taking names. And wallets.

Japanese police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume, officials have said.

Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.

Fairly plain and simple article which makes one go, “heh… odd”. Until I hit the last sentence…

Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole US$160 from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes.

When I run out of clothes, I just re-wear them. On most days it may give more to a hobo look and smell, but I just know it’ll be in fashion once that robot invasion is underway and we start living in a post-apocalyptic world battle with them. I’m so ahead of my time.

Full and slightly longer article here.

Praise Science, Apollo astronaut Edgar Mitchell was on some radio show and stated that aliens are real and have made contact and goverments have covered it up but are slowly leaking it out now. Bunch of crazy talk. But awesome crazy talk and one I hope is real. I constantly fear the eventual robot take-over that is so going to happen soon, but with this news, we can look to our alien overlords to protect us. Some write ups on it here and the interview itself here.

Oh and further space sciene awesomeness… NASA wants to push forward the exploration and effects of sex in space. I’ve long put aside my dreams of wanting to be an astronaut years ago, but with this news I’m starting my trainning of lifting weights and dodging robot lasers today and signing up. Full read here.