A Random Turn of Events

Sweet Knights of Columbus, that’s right, I have a blog that needs to be updated regularly. So where have I been? Slipping obviously, but one particular recent event which was awesome and totally worth blogging was my recent Friday night…

After a day of nothing and being quite bored, I txt’d around to see who wanted to go out for a drink and by 5 o’clock had a small entourage of friends to chill out and drink some drinks with. Several bars down, we decide that the next place to go and be merry is the casino. Brilliant idea! Only thing is that my friends needed to go move a car first and I simply needed more booze in me, so going our separate ways, we planned to meet out in front of the casino in within a certain amount of time.

As I walked alone down the city street, a carload of young douchefags thought I was the right target for their douchefaggery and one of the morons in the backseat yelled out his window to me “Asian cunt!”.

Now, though there is no doubt I am an Asian and at times, according to some, a total cunt, I doubt either of these terms have anything to do with each other, let alone be called out by some retarded fucktard who’s parents were themselves to retarded to know how to use a goddamn condom.

So this idiot yells this out to me from the safety of his backseat, but lo to his misfortune, he yelled it at me of all Asians and their car had to stop two seconds later at a red light.

Brilliant.

I took one very pissed off and very drunk breath of air and proceeded to sprint towards the car at full speed with the hate of China behind my back.

Where there once sat an over confident, unaborted incest lovechild, now sat a pants wetting assclown who was beginning to realise his mistake and started rolling up his window in fear.

Drunk, and full of rage, I proceeded to open his door with the force of an asian cunt drunk and full of rage and yell the shit out of this total cuntrag who should have been a blowjob instead of the product of his mum accidently sitting down on the little turd ejaculate that came out his dad.

This ranting and yelling proceeded for a while until the lights turned green and then I set the little cock stain and his friends on their way, punctuating the encounter flipping the classic ‘bird’.

Now, many people, even people I’m close to and know, don’t really think that racism is prevalent in this day and age, or at least in New Zealand of all places. But let me tell you for the record, shit like that happens to me very often. Racial profiling and stereotyping has ranged from mild mean words like our retard example above, to real fucked up wankers, pressing me against a wall wanting to cause me grevious bodily harm just because of the colour of my skin.

Whoops… this post went on a bit of a tangent there and I don’t mean to start editorialising too much, but just for the record, I don’t stand for that shit. Not against me or any other human being. No one should be judged based on the colour of their skin and I’ll get in the face of anyone that thinks otherwise.

Now, don’t get me wrong though, I’ll hate the shit out of someone if they’re an asshole no matter what ethnicity or race or country their from. You could be a fellow Asian or a shining example of the Aryan race, but if you’re a total moron, you’re a total moron in my total morons book. Case close. But to get back down to basics, racism sure as shit don’t fly with me and neither does the hitting of women while we’re at it.

Anyway, Batman wannabe speech aside, where was I? Ah right, after my run in with the little fuck stick, I proceeded to drink more, meet up with my friends at the casino, win over 600 bucks, drink a bit more and wake up with one hell of a hangover in my car the next morning (cause I don’t drink drive damnit!).

Batman would be proud.

KazooKeylele?

Its like the horrible melding of a baby keyboard, ukulele and a kazoo. This guy plays a half decent version of The Final Countdown on it too…

…if your feeling masochistic enough. I mean, it still is The Final Countdown.

For Don Hertzfeldt Fans…

My new favourite picture of the week.

If you don’t know what this is referencing, you owe it to yourself to watch this. Or even better, go buy one of his DVDs at bitterfilms.com and bask in all its glory.

This picture was also found on my new favourite photo blog which just keeps updating constantly with some of the best and coolest images around. Find more greatness at https://riotclitshave.livejournal.com/

In Memorium… just to morbid things up today

“This world to her
Was like a tragic play
She came, saw, disliked,
And passed away.”

Hope your enjoying that great gig in the sky!

Why yes, it certainly has been quiet recently…

Time to step out of the shadows I suppose. Been doing stuff and mostly not achieving anything, but overall hanging out with mates.

There’s been more buying of stuff, which I believe is always good for the soul, though not for the wallet. But I must mention that a parcel of nine sweet Godard films is now five weeks overdue and I’ve come to the conclusion it’s probably not going to turn up anytime soon. That revelation is a bit of damper.

But overall, not a helluva lot has been going on. There’s been several birthdays which I’ve managed to almost forget all off. People have been coming and going and I can’t help but feel this is all just that calm before the storm. Hopefully by storm, I mean busload of strippers parks itself in my driveway, but we’ll see.

Stuff I should mention is that this week is the last week of Future Te Aroha’s production of Little Shop of Horrors. People I know are in it and made it so go check it out. Here’s the poster.


A video of a bar being served by a monkey. I don’t know what exactly this is, but it is quite possibly the greatest thing on the face of this earth ever ever.


Pictures of The Most Alien Looking Place on Earth. And I’d agree.

And the photo of the week that made me laugh…

Oh and I just noted that the counter is past 1000, but no one has claimed their prize yet. No rush either.

Dead Chris Week

Haven’t updated in a while and haven’t really had anything much to update on. Think I’m depressed again. Must make another film. Slow week.

Fresh Berries For You

Impressively, this site is starting to near 1000 hits which is so cool I’m gonna do a repeat of what I did last time my site neared 1000 hits, offer a sweet prize to whoever is the 1000th visitor or nearest to after the fact. You can take screen caps by pressing alt + print screen which will copy an image to your clipboard. Save it, send it to me and you could also win one of these…

And second prize is you all have to suffer through this.

Where is your god now?

An Almost All Boobs Related Post

  • Windscreen washer jailed for red-lights grope
    The court heard that on September 9 last year, Wainohu had approached his victim at the intersection of Hamilton’s Mill and Ulster Sts, offering to wash her windscreen.

    As the woman lowered her window to pay Wainohu, he reached in and squeezed her breast. (full article)

Seriously. Sometimes I feel a little stabby just to get as some great cleavage. Its science.

Dead Chris Day

Three nights of drinking is both awesome and terrible. My liver must hate me right now.

Spit-takes has so far gotten a good response from people, which is great and encouraging to carry on with the next project. Still trying to find the best compression for it as a HD file and for vimeo, but that’s technical mumbo jumbo nobody cares about.

News and stuff wise, its been a quite few days so I don’t really have anything else to post about. Its gonna be a fairly low key week it seems and no planned robot fights to speak of, though I’ve been thinking of starting themed weeks just for the hell of it. Mostly, I just want to print and wear a whole series of t-shirts that say ‘Fuck (whatever is pissing me off at the time)’ and have a different shirt every day for a whole week. That’d be sweet.

Anyway, here’s a golden oldie I always like watching, the Who’s on First sketch rendered with typography. Next post will hopefully have something more interesting. Or disturbing. Whichever comes first. Or last. I need beer.

Spit-Takes: A Mouthful of Comedy

Been meaning to post in the last few days that I’ve been working on this bastard for many late nights tapping keys like a drone, banging my head through the online rendering and trying to get a proper decent quality online.

Well its now done and after so long working at it, I have no idea if its any good and without even testing it before release, I give you the long overdue… Spit-Takes: A Mouthful of Comedy. Be gentle internet.